Domestic violence happens in the best of families as evidenced by New York State Senator Monserrate’s recent misdemeanor assault conviction for recklessly injuring his girlfriend (NY Times/February 9, 2010). Domestic violence is an insidious behavior that takes the form of emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Studies suggest that violent behavior often is caused by an interaction of situational and individual factors. That means that abusers often learn violent behavior from their family, people in their community and other cultural influences. They may have seen violence often or they may have been victims themselves. Domestic violence surfaces when one partner feels the need to control or dominate the other.
What can be done to stop the violence? First, abusers need to own their behavior and develop techniques to deal with anger, control and power issues. Wanting to stop or even promising to stop isn’t enough. In our Spousal Abuse Group Education (SAGE) program, we ask participants to focus on three basic principles:
- Using violent behavior is a choice. You can choose not to be violent or abusive.
- You are the only one responsible for your behavior; therefore, you can control your actions.
- Abusive behavior is learned behavior. What is learned can be unlearned. Click here to read about one man’s struggle to change his behavior.
If you are afraid that you may hurt someone you care about, or want to break the cycle of abuse, you may wish to learn more about our SAGE program. Call us at 516.935.6858 or email us.
We are grateful to the Verizon Foundation for their generous support of SAGE and for allowing us to extend a helping hand to those in need.
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